I really enjoy working with adolescents. I’ve raised four of my own (a daughter born in 1985 and a son born in 1989, as well as two stepdaughters born in 2000 and 2002). Although they belong to a different generation from today’s teens (Generation Z, born after 2010) the processes of bio-psycho-social growth and development remain universal. However, something crucial has changed – and dramatically! It’s essential to recognize that Generation Z’s environment, deeply technological, is remarkably unique.
Since the launch of the first smartphone in 2007, children and teens no longer have to “wait their turn” to use the internet on the family computer, available for only a few hours, and often under parental supervision. Today, Generation Z has access to virtually all digital content wherever they are, without direct supervision and with incredible speed. Recently, I met with the parents of a 14-year-old boy who feel powerless in the face of technology’s dominance in their son’s life. “It’s as if he’s been taken from us,” they said.
This chronic connectivity brings serious consequences to Generation Z’s developing brains. It’s important to remember that the prefrontal cortex (responsible for executive functions such as motor performance, judgment, discernment, abstract thinking, creativity, and social appropriateness) doesn’t fully mature until around age 25. The psycho-emotional effects of excessive technology use include addiction, difficulty concentrating, impatience, irritability and sleep disturbances. In addition, concerns arise around teens’ safety regarding cell phone use, and balancing safety and privacy can be delicate. In advising parents and educators, I emphasize the importance of balancing adolescents’ right to privacy with parents’ responsibility to ensure their safety.
As psychologists and child development specialists, we believe that the recommended approach is based on trust and communication rather than constant surveillance. I’d like to suggest some key points that can help parents with this relevant and challenging issue:
1. Privacy is important for development: Adolescence is a time when young people need to build their autonomy and identity. Allowing some privacy helps teens develop responsibility and self-confidence;
2.Safety and boundaries are necessary: At the same time, it’s natural for parents to be concerned about their child’s online safety. Instead of requiring full access to passwords, a good measure is to establish clear rules for the use of social media and the internet, including appropriate hours and content. For example, creating a “cell phone rest area” during meals and study time can be helpful;
3.Encourage open communication: Promoting open communication between parents and teens about what they do online, who they interact with, and potential risks is more effective than constant monitoring. When there’s trust and parents show they’re open to listening, teens are more likely to share their experiences voluntarily;
4.Set agreements about technology use: Rather than imposing control, parents can create agreements with their children regarding technology use, including screen time and online behavior. They can also establish specific times for supervision if there are signs of concerning behavior;
5.Respect the need for emotional privacy: By invading their child’s phone, parents may interfere with their teen’s relationships and feelings, potentially weakening mutual trust. Validating their emotions and understanding their emotional space is essential for healthy development.
It’s crucial for parents to understand that creating a trust-based environment can be more protective in the long term than absolute control.
If you’re the parent of a “connected” teenager and would like more information on this relevant and challenging topic, don’t hesitate to reach out to me! I’d be happy to share more tips and ideas tailored to the unique needs of your child and family.
