It's very funny when we see children acting like adults, but what about the opposite?... Why do some adults remain insecure, vulnerable, self-centered, impatient?... I'm not trying to idealize adults, but let's face it, we cannot avoid noticing certain inappropriate behaviors that do not contribute to the evolution of society, of a community or even the subject himself. We all have an intuitive perception of common sense that allows us to look at the psychological immaturity of some. To distinguish one thing from another, we can define maturity as a series of attributes, behaviors and ways of seeing life that we naturally expect to find in an adult person. To this end, I mention here five very common characteristics brought to my clinic by men and women beyond the age of forty! 1. There are adults who don't understand the word "NO". In other words, they have no self-control. This is very common in children because they are not ready to know all the social rules, or what favors or harms them. They don't know how to surrender to their impulses and that's exactly how some immature adults behave. Someone who gives in to their impulses and desires does not know how to control themselves and therefore acts in a childish way as if they lacked the maturity of the prefrontal cortex - the area of the brain responsible for discernment; 2. Children cry, scream and throw tantrums when their wants and needs are not promptly met, for example when they are hungry or want something sweet. On the other hand, an adult is usually able to bear and tolerate the weight of frustrations. He/she must also be able to console him/herself, to wait or to provide alternatives, without fussing.... Men who do not accept the end of a relationship, for example, are a good (although terrible) example of a childish reaction from an individual who acts like a little baby; 3. A child begins to lie around the age of six to seven, when he or she is already more immersed in the reality of life. The child is not yet prepared to take responsibility for his or her actions. Now, a mature adult must have the capacity for the opposite: self-responsibility. An immature adult is always looking for excuses or blaming others instead of assuming their responsibilities. "My betrayal is my husband's fault because he doesn't pay attention to me." This is a classic and common example of an immature adult. Therefore, knowing how to bear guilt is mature behavior, which is expected from an adult; 4. And when in conflict, what to do? Well, an immature person is incapable of negotiating conflicting situations. Children often choose to "sulk" when they are unable to resolve conflicts. Adults are expected to use arguments and dialogue to reach an agreement, instead of sulking or running away. Even in the work environment, the maturity of presenting your arguments when negotiating balance is fundamental. Some childish adults cannot use language to defend their points of view, their poor language skills simply do not do justice to their adult status; 5. Children's egocentrism is undeniable. They believe that the maternal, paternal role and even the nanny's role is exclusively to serve them. This is not about selfishness, but about a reduced view of reality in which it is at the center of everything, due to a mere inability to see the world from other points of view, putting oneself in the place of others. The younger, the more difficult it is for the child to see the desires and needs of others. This is also very common in immature people. The lack of empathy is still an immature characteristic of human beings. In relationships, this is a major obstacle, as the immature partner is unable to put themselves in a position opposite to yours, thus preventing a valuable exchange of responsibilities and enjoyment. In today's homes, we see fathers and mothers who are intimidated by their children, thus favoring the precarious formation of an inefficient and weak Self, incapable of exercising self-control, tolerating frustrations, taking responsibility for their actions, knowing how to negotiate their opinions and being empathetic.
Psicologia
